Saturday, November 29, 2003

short stubby update:
I am going back across the pond to the big show next year. if you dont understand, the people who matter can contact me...

Saturday, November 22, 2003

try it all you children of the 80's....1 got a 61

Saturday, November 08, 2003

oddly enough, i feel compelled to write a poem...

like a fly on the wall as the world slides past,
in a crowded room with no one around,
an unnoticed marble in a full glass jar,
that intangible feeling that just seems to last.

all alone with many people milling about,
walking right on by with not a sense of care,
the square wheel that seems to get left behind,
challenged to stop myself from wanting to shout.

interloping among a group of those forged together,
things just dont fit the way they should,
walking aimlessly around not a soul to share,
despite the openess the feeling is smothered.

so the choice is to drift like an isolated leaf,
trapped in a current and dragged along despite
the search for the other perfect leaf fruitless
fading into the woodwork foregone, forgotten...

tell me what you think if you feel so inclined...

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Its one of those reflecting nights again, out cruzin in the cali rain(no joke) just listenin to blue october and pondering some things. i think i came to a few basic conclusions. one, that i am very appreciative of all that i have been blessed with, my family, my friends, my health, my good looks ::snicker:: i go about taking most of these for granted every day and i am sure there are many people without one, or ANY of these things. basically the whole brat mentality annoys me. second, since God has obviously seen fit to guide me where he will, i think part of this journey is that i should be there to shoulder the burden whenever necessary so that i may help my friends in their times of trouble. no real original or grand vision mind you, just the hope that in helping i will be humbled and hopefully become more selfless than my selfish self. that was a mouthful. i had a drunken epiphany one time that i didnt think i was worthy of gods forgiveness and to even consider working towards it was guiltful. obviously this is absurd. i just think that one of the premises of existence is that we exist to help each other out through this journey. that can obviously be taken any way you wish but i definitely mean it in a positive and giving way. i canyt really say what brought this up, besides maybe my thoughts of loneliness. my next statement would be how i must get past any bad times i am having to follow what i see as one, if not the most important part of life, which is selflessly helping others. i am no saint and i am far from the person i could be, but what matters is the effort. notice i keep saying SELFLESS. this is because what you do should nt be done in order to be recognized, rather because it is what i consider to be a basic human duty too often neglected. we do too much for our own ends. i am of the mindset that as we succeed in helping others with their toils, we too are helped with ours without even looking for/realizing it. whew. i dont think i can elaborate anymore, at the risk of extending an already extensive paragraph explaining my little idea. i am sure i am not the first to examine this issue then comment upon it, but this comes from my own head. thats all i got for you for know bloggy blog blog....lata alligata